Court defence

Defence Attorney:

Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:

I am 76 years old.


Defence Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words,

What happened the night of April 1st?


Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.


Defence Attorney:

Did you know him?


Little Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.


Little Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.


Defence Attorney:

Did you stop him?


Little Old Lady:

No, I didn't stop him.


Defence Attorney:

Why not?


Little Old Lady:

It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 20 years ago.


Defence Attorney:

What happened next?


Little Old Lady:

He began to touch my breasts.


Defence Attorney:

Did you stop him then?


Little Old Lady:

No, I certainly did not!


Defence Attorney:

Whyever not?


Little Old Lady:

His touching made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!


Defence Attorney:

What happened next?


Little Old Lady:

Well, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'


Did he take you?


Little Old Lady:

  Hell, no! He just yelled,'April Fool!'And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.



Submitted by Stephen Devereau
26 Jan, 2009


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