Tommy Cooper Series 3

And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again.

He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree.

And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?'

And I said 'I careered off the road.'

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, most dentists' chairs Go up and down, don't they?

The one I was in went back and forwards.

I thought 'This is unusual'.

And the dentist said to me, 'Mr. Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.'

--------------------------------------------------------------------

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'

I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other 'Does this taste funny to you?'

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.

They left a little note on the windscreen; it said 'Parking Fine.'

So that was nice.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

MORE TO COME!!!

Subscribe

• Tag Feed for joke
• Tag Feed for tommy cooper
• Tag Feed for one liners
• Tag Feed for series 3